Stand-up comedian Mitch Hedberg died today. I know that some other people who were in the news died today as well, but I want to say bye to Mitch Hedberg. If you've never seen his specials on Comedy Central, there isn't really any way to describe him...maybe "odd with an interesting sense of pacing and perspective. " And he had a thing for doing stand-up with his eyes closed. I don't have anything deep to add to this, so I'll just put in a few favorite quotes:
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.
On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that banana?
I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up."
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".
At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."
Currently Listening To: Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar), by The Doors
Scrabble WOTD: IZZARD n. pl. -S the letter Z