So today we joined the sweaty, stinking masses in the
central Florida heat in
Anyhoo, here are a few thoughts… first off (and this is important), if you are a large human female who has borne multiple children, and you have brought said brood to a theme park, and EVEN if it is quite hot outside, please please please do not don a triangle cut bikini top and spandex shorts with a fanny pack slapped around your (considerable) waist. No one needs to see your children spraying your back/gut/chest liberally with one of those popular “fan/mister” bottle combinations. To those unfortunate enough to be standing behind you in an overly long and slow-moving line, the sweaty liquid dripping into your various cleavage may cause severe discomfort. Thanks for your cooperation.
the Fire Dragon on Dueling Dragons is much better than the Ice Dragon. We made
the mistake of eating a huge lunch inside a large tree and then heading straight
onto the ride. As I sat straddling the blue serpent coaster seat, the chest harness
pushing down against my torso and my feet dangling down into space, it occurred
to me that my lunch of turkey leg, corn muffin, corn on the cob, and about 900
oz. of Diet Coke probably wasn’t the best idea. Witty and I made a pact that we’d
puke on each other if the need arose, as it would be slightly less mortifying than
vomiting on a complete stranger.
Third, if you are on a ride that has an hour and a half wait, and you get to the top and realize that it is too intense for you…stick it out, you pussy! We were about 4 people from the front of “Dudley Do-Right’s RipSaw Falls” when some dumbshit on the ride got all the way up to the top of the logflume, right before the drop, and bailed. Evidently this asshat just freaked and jumped out of the boat. This caused the cops to be called (they had to go into the set and find the guy who was wandering around in there) and the ride to be closed for an hour. Thanks, man. We appreciate it. Sincerely. (He was apparently tall enough to Ride the Log (see picture), but not man enough to Ride the Log)
I missed my
In closing, I’ll say that we had a faboo time today, and tomorrow we leave for the cruise. Midnight buffet, here we come. If I don’t get another chance, I miss y’all, and I’ll catch ya on the flipside. Mahalo.
ps- Happy 53rd birthday to Geddy Lee on Friday. I wore my Rush shirt in the park for you today, Ged, and a very scary man commented on it.