WARNING: This post, according to Puritanical America, contains images of NEKKID BOOBS and therefore must be pornographic in nature. Please avert your eyes.
Apparently there is some public outcry about a breast being featured on the cover of this magazine about babies and breastfeeding. . According to a quote on MSNBC:
One mother who
didn't like the cover explains she was concerned about her 13-year-old son
seeing it. "I shredded it," said Gayle Ash, of
Thank God we are protecting our children from all the really evil evils. Can you imagine those nasty, perverted babies who literally SUCK on breasts – on nipples, even? (I heard that some of those underaged sickos even DRINK what comes out of boobies – ewww! What is this, some freaky Chuck Palahniuk novel?!) I for one want to say, “Thank YOU, Mrs. Ash," for taking this matter into your own hands and protecting your 13-year-old son from such smut. Other parents should take notes!
To show a baby suckling gives the misleading impression that hooters serve some biological function other than being pleasing to the eye. And that isn’t all, either, oh no…I read that a fringe group (“Doctors,” I believe they are called) is trying to publish a paper about how a woman's hoo-hoo-dilly can be used for something besides sexual gratification.
It’s a wacko theory, to be sure, some nonsense about how babies are actually constructed. It’s all technical and obviously made-up; there’s all this sci-fi jargon in there about “spermatozoastids” and “ovums” and “ovulationings.” These deviants even call it “sexual reproduction,” and act like it’s actual science, even though the word “SEX” is right there in the title.
I don’t have any children of my own, but if and when that magical stork drops one by (I saw it in Dumbo, so it must be true), I vow to never ever let this new pseudo-science of “biology” corrupt his or her young, impressionable mind. If I have to protest classes at the school, boycott the zoo because of those nasty nasty monkeys, or even shred up a magazine, then I promise it will be done. Because I will love that stork baby cabbage patch kid and I will do my best to protect it from the evils of knowledge.
OK, in all seriousness now, the only thing I thought when I saw that cover was, "What a lovely baby." The expression captures the perfect love that a child has for its mother and saves a beautiful moment forever.
ps- I don't have kids, and so I don't really have an opinion on the "right to breastfeed in public" fight, but if I'd never read this article I never would have learned the hilarious word "lactivist."
pss- There is more to that "shredding magazine" story, I bet...maybe that woman's son is a dairy fetishish who watches "A Clockwork Orange" seven times a week. And you don't even want to know what he does with the "Got Milk?" campaign. (Other words I could work in here with double meanings include "cow juice," "cream," "homogenized," "vitamin D," and "laiche.")