Since I found out I was pregnant, I’ve been on the lookout for a red and white striped outfit like the one Toby wears in Labyrinth. I’ve googled it, I’ve searched online and in stores, I’ve asked, but to no avail. Toby’s cute little costume was not to be found.
Then yesterday I was perusing the local Osh-Kosh store, and lo and behold, what did I see? I red and white striped outfit, right there on the sale rack. Fools! I though. Just because something looks like Christmas colors doesn’t mean it can only be for Christmas! So I bought it (a steal at $3.99) and brought it home.
When I got it out of he bag I was dismayed to find that, embroidered across the rump in dark green 2-inch letters, it said “LITTLE ELF”. So that was the Christmas part. Gotcha. But I was not deterred- I am a semi-professional un-embroiderer. When you support a program with wonky colors that are not readily available in baby clothing, sometimes you have to improvise. I’ll buy a bright gold onesie with a fire truck embroidered on it, use a seam ripper to remove the truck, and then sew an ASU logo patch in its place. Easy, cheap, whoo-hoo.
So I got out my trusty seam ripper and set to work. I have to give it to the Osh-kosh people: those damn letters were REALLY on there. That is some quality work I had to destroy. And it took forever. Like over an hour. By about halfway through I had to switch to my eyebrow tweezers to get the tiny threads out. (Really good tweezers, too. Expensive ones. My eyebrows are my one beauty, like Jo’s hair in Little Women. I take care of them.)
By the time it was all said and done I was exhausted. I marched back to the laundry room and chucked the stripey garment into the wash with a growl. I slammed down the machine lid (after adding no-perfume-no-dye-all-natural-organic-baby-safe-enviro-safe detergent, of course), and let out a victorious whoop – “Who’s embroidered now, you stupid farker?!” I yelled at the laundry. In all, it was a truly pathetic way to spend part of one’s Friday night.
All because of my unnatural love for Labyrinth. Behold:
ps- Googling for this photo "labyrinth toby" brought me the first link in a long time that has made me laugh out loud.