Gnumoon's Stuff

Islands of Adventure

So today we joined the sweaty, stinking masses in the central Florida heat in Orlando, the theme park capital of the known universe. We went to Universal’s Islands of Adventure, because I’m a big roller-coaster fan, and we read that IofA was the best bet for thrill rides. This is a BIG deviation for me, because I’m a major DisneyWorld fan. For all my cynicism about life in general, the Magic Kingdom reduces me to a wide-eyed 7-year-old pretty quickly. But Dueling Dragons and The Hulk called to us, so our $60….erm, make that $50, went to Universal. In a comment related to the last question, did you know that there are scalpers at theme parks?

Anyhoo, here are a few thoughts… first off (and this is important), if you are a large human female who has borne multiple children, and you have brought said brood to a theme park, and EVEN if it is quite hot outside, please please please do not don a triangle cut bikini top and spandex shorts with a fanny pack slapped around your (considerable) waist. No one needs to see your children spraying your back/gut/chest liberally with one of those popular “fan/mister” bottle combinations. To those unfortunate enough to be standing behind you in an overly long and slow-moving line, the sweaty liquid dripping into your various cleavage may cause severe discomfort. Thanks for your cooperation.

Secondly, the Fire Dragon on Dueling Dragons is much better than the Ice Dragon. We made the mistake of eating a huge lunch inside a large tree and then heading straight onto the ride. As I sat straddling the blue serpent coaster seat, the chest harness pushing down against my torso and my feet dangling down into space, it occurred to me that my lunch of turkey leg, corn muffin, corn on the cob, and about 900 oz. of Diet Coke probably wasn’t the best idea. Witty and I made a pact that we’d puke on each other if the need arose, as it would be slightly less mortifying than vomiting on a complete stranger.

Third, if you are on a ride that has an hour and a half wait, and you get to the top and realize that it is too intense for you…stick it out, you pussy! We were about 4 people from the front of “Dudley Do-Right’s RipSaw Falls” when some dumbshit on the ride got all the way up to the top of the logflume, right before the drop, and bailed. Evidently this asshat just freaked and jumped out of the boat. This caused the cops to be called (they had to go into the set and find the guy who was wandering around in there) and the ride to be closed for an hour. Thanks, man. We appreciate it. Sincerely.  (He was apparently tall enough to Ride the Log (see picture), but not man enough to Ride the Log)

I missed my beloved DisneyWorld, but I had a great time today, and I can say that both parks have strengths and weaknesses. Universal has better thrill rides, parking, and variety of food. Disney kicks ass on atmosphere, cleanliness, and staff. There is no magic at the Islands of Adventure, but they do have some fun coasters. 

In closing, I’ll say that we had a faboo time today, and tomorrow we leave for the cruise. Midnight buffet, here we come. If I don’t get another chance, I miss y’all, and I’ll catch ya on the flipside. Mahalo.

ps- Happy 53rd birthday to Geddy Lee on Friday. I wore my Rush shirt in the park for you today, Ged, and a very scary man commented on it.

Max & Co.

I've been busy preparing to leave for vacation, so I haven't had time to post anything lately. So here are some pictures of Maxer's buddies. First off we have Max and Jud. Jud belongs to my grandparents, and he has recently been clipped. His short new fur is just so cute, because he still have long tufts on his feet, ears, and tail. Awwww.
Blue Ridge Blogger's cute doggie, Harley, gets a look out of the back of the car after a hike the other day. I would have gotten a picture of all the dogs swimming in the lake, but alas, I did not have my camera.

That is all I have for now...I'm crazy running around trying to get last-minute things done, so I'll leave you with one bit of advice: Hypnotiq is not your friend. It is evil and was quite possibly devised as some kind of mental torture device. I've done the research so y'all can reap the benefits. Steer clear.

Bryozoans, yo

FOLLOW-UP: Leave it to my dad to solve the scientific mystery. He informed me that the bizarre gelatinous blobs are in fact bryozoans. These things date back 500,000,000 years. Wow. Let's read more, shall we? This comes to us from the NC State Fisheries website:

Bryozoans are among the most abundant freshwater invertebrates that are found attached to submerged surfaces. Commonly known as "moss animals," these tiny colonial organisms live in aquatic environments where they feed on diatoms, green algae, bacteria, rotifers, protozoa, and even an occasional tiny crustacean or nematode. Like the corals, these sessile creatures were thought to be plants until the mid-1700s.

Anyway, I should have just known to ask dad. He is an enclyclopedia of odd knowledge- kind of like me, but he's been compiling it longer. His picture is Photoshopped for maximum artiness because that is how he would want it to be. Seriously...he doesn't even really take pictures of people at all. He would have taken about 312 shots of the blobs, all from slightly different angles and at different times of day.
Thanks for the info, daddy-o!

PS- Dad's picture is from this past weekend and he is demonstrating the "adventurer pose." He does this whenever a camera is aimed at him.

BrundleBlobs

Can someone help identify this? I was with Blue Ridge Blogger today hiking with the dogs and we came across these things growing (Sleeping? Acclimating themselves to Earth’s climate?) in a pond. The jelloblobs (let’s call them Morts) are about a foot and a half in diameter and gelatinous. Morts look like big jellyfish, but they’re more sturdy and fixed in place.

M. poked one with a stick, and air or some kind of gas erupted from within the recesses of the pulsating Mort. I think it kind of sprayed her…so if she starts growing tentacles or metamorphosizing into something not of this world I'll just…well, I’m not sure what I’ll just do. But I promise to blog about it; she would want it that way.

More of my sci-fi ramblings later. I’ve been working in the yard and feel decidedly sticky icky. I’d better shower before those allergies really kick in.

Mangacado

Mangacado Salsa

2  Avocados, peeled & diced
1  Mango, peeled & diced
1  Small-med. Vidalia onion, diced
4  Med. Tomatoes, diced
1/2 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
Juice of 1/2 a lime
1 tsp. Red pepper
3  Garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp. Garlic powder
1 tsp. Salt
3 tbsp. Olive Oil

Layer together, then mix with a large wooden spoon.  Chill for an hour to let the flavors meld together.  Serve with tortilla chips or over chicken or fish.

Notes: I use a double mezzaluna to do most of the slicing and dicing in this recipe. Especially the garlic and onions…if the chunks are too big they are a bit shocking to bite into.

If you’re a “hot” person, then substitute chopped jalapeno for the red pepper. I prefer spicy flavor to all-out heat, so I don’t use actual jalapenos in mine. The onion and garlic give it enough heat, plus great flavor.

The longer it chills the more the flavors intermingle, but avocados only keep for a few days, so keep that in mind when storing. I have never kept it for longer than 2 days, because it is like crack…we just can’t get enough.

I admit that I’m pleasantly surprised by the feedback on this, both in comments and over e-mail. I hope you guys enjoy it!  And Melissa, I am in awe of your culinary prowess- it inspires me to NOT eat Cheerios for dinner.

Whatcha got cookin?

One of my blogger buddies always posts these super-fancy and wonderful-sounding meals she makes, and it makes me feel terrible for eating Cheerios for dinner on a regular basis. My non-cooking ways don’t stem from a lack of skill, but rather a lack of energy. When I have time, cooking is one of my favorite things to do. So, inspired by Melissa, here is an account of last night’s yummy dinner. Not fancy, but really good.

Next week we’re going to the Caribbean with some friends, so in honor of the trip I prepared a island-themed summer meal last night to cap off a fabulous weekend. It was complete with bamboo placemats, palmtree print napkins, reggae music, and glasses shaped like Tiki Gods (I picked these up at a yard sale years ago from a woman who had originally purchased them in Hawaii on her honeymoon in the 1950’s. Very high kitsch factor.)

The menu:
Drinks before dinner: Stillhouse Calypsos – I made these up. Mandarin orange tonic water, a splash of lemon juice, and vodka over ice. In Tiki mugs, of course.

Rosemary-Honey-Lime chicken breasts with Mango chutney
Long-grain wild rice
Fried Plantains
Baked Tortilla chips with Mango/Avocado salsa (I made a fresh batch of salsa for the evening, but we try to keep it onhand most of the time, because it ROCKS. I have the recipe if anyone wants it.)

It was all tres tasty, plus we discovered that Max likes plantains. Who knew?

I had planned to make a key lime pie for dessert, but we ended up hitting the hot tub instead and then capping off the evening some ice cream sandwiches.

Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a Bedpan!

Follow-up: The “bedpan” turned out to be the water receptacle for a Robitussin brand humidifier that my husband purchased some years ago. Mystery solved.

Follow-up #2: This picture is the hospital that I mentioned wanting to explore in this post. It is tres creepy, and for some reason, people are holding an arts & crafts fair in the parking lot. To me, that is akin on a creepy scale to having a dinner party in the Amityville House. The place is just …. eek. I will go inside it someday. Oh yes.

This weekend has been full of home renovation and maintenance (put up new shelves in the closets, paint, weedeat, etc.), dinner with friends at the Los, and some bowling. Look at that picture- Kickin Witt sure loves his bowling. I bowled a 78, which is a personal best for my illustrious 5-game bowling career.

I have also realized that superficial supercedes stupid on the list of “traits that piss me off.”  Some people are honestly stupid; they can’t help it. One has to choose to be superficial and then hone it for years to get it right. A future rant, perhaps.

These pictures were taken with my new digital camera, by the way. It is a little Fuji FinePix, and I decided to buy it based on 2 factors. These are:
#1. Does it take good pictures for the price? Check .
#2: If I take it to a party and someone spills beer on it, can I not let it ruin my evening, because it only cost x amount of dollars? Check.
Basically, I figured out how much money I was comfy with spending on a camera that has a high probability of getting beer spilled on it, wine spilled on it, water from the lake poured on it, having some drunkard drop it and/or take a picture of their ass with it, Max deciding to chew on it, or a host of other interesting modes of camera demise.

That price was firmly in the “under $200” range (Plus a bit more for a larger memory card). While I’m used to shooting with much more high-end equipment, I have been pleasantly surprised with the little FinePix. They aren’t GreatPix, but they are FineEnoughForMyBlogPix. I guess that name was tad too long for the marketing people at Fuji.

Currently Listening to: The TV in the other room…on Bravo now is the sodomy scene from Pulp Fiction. They’ll censor out the F-bombs for broadcast, but they aren’t afraid to show a little man-lovin’ on this channel.
Quote OTD:  From Bull Durham
Annie: The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness.

You're in Control

Hubby is out of town all week on bidness. Finish this saying: When the cat’s away, the mouse will…

If you said “paint the bedroom closet and rearrange the kitchen,” then you would be absolutely right! Aren’t I an exciting little rodent? The truth is, it has been very nice to just come home from work at a decent hour, change into “play clothes,” and then turn on NPR and get to scrubbin’. Let’s just say that between Democracy Today and  Toasted Marshmallow Latex Matte, I’ve pretty much been the love child of Hillary Clinton and Martha Stewart this week. Without the sensible haircut and insider trading, of course.

I went to clean out the hall linen/cleaning supplies/catchall closet an hour or two ago. “Catchall” is in there because we’re renovating the house while we live here, and the random paint cans, rollers, and accoutrements have to go somewhere. I was shocked at the amount of random junk that was hiding in the dark recesses of that tiny room. My excavation did not turn up a Narnia-esque doorway to another dimension, but it did unearth a blade for a defunct ceiling fan, 100 green rubber gloves (in a bag, I didn’t count them all), 7 cans of paint in various stages of emptiness, three switchplate covers (two were broken), and (wait for it…wait for it…) a bedpan.

This bedpan does not belong to us, and I have never seen it before tonight. Truly…I had to Google the damn thing to be sure it was what it appeared to be.  So there are questions raised, such as “Where did this bedpan come from?,” “Why was it in our closet?,” and “If this plastic potty was left behind by a former owner, why did we not THROW IT AWAY?!”  (Note: Lots of terrible “urine-themed” puns were deleted from this post, such as how this whole ordeal put me in a pissy mood.)

THIS IS MY SEGUE.

Also this evening, with the man out of town, I treated myself to a perfect summer dinner:

Whole wheat pita with cucumbers, sprouts and hummus
Tortilla chips with homemade avocado-mango salsa
Carrots with spinach/walnut dip
And for dessert: black cherries and Little Penguin Shiraz

Currently Listening to: Classical music on NPR.  I'm all about the reckless juxtaposition of crass and class.
Quote OTD: This poem was cross-stitched, framed, and hung with great care in a neighbor's bathroom when I was a child. I found it incredibly clever at the time, but it is worth noting that "at the time" I was 6.
If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

Not the Mbwun statue, but close.

I can't talk about one brother like I did yesterday (that was Ira, by the way, Marie. He's 19), and not mention the other one. Geoff, who isn't even a sculture major in school, gave me this awesome terra cotta tribal mask that he made. Actually, he gave it to me when I spotted it in his yard, leaning and forgotten against the garage. He seemed shocked that I would want it...talk about underestimating your work. He isn't nearly as creepy as this piece would have you think, but just like the other two of us, Geoff has an odd fascination with the grotesque and absurd.
I plan to hang this on the side of my house or cultivate a garden and have it be the focal point. It is a nice addition to my gargoyle collection. More later...I must now leave to atten an uppity function that I am DREADING. Give me bizarre art to high society any day.

Currently Listening to: I'm On Standby, by Granddaddy
Quote OTD: from The Relic (I just finished the book...it is MUCh better than the movie...the mask reminds me of the Mbwun statue)
Martini: Never thought there'd be a worse way to die than a shark attack. Having my head ripped off never occurred to me.

Nostalgia and an Orange Kitten

Sorry again for the posting drought…I was away this weekend and didn’t have access to a computer. Twas a fine weekend, too, even though the beach trip that we had planned fell through at the last minute. I just went to the hometown and hung out with my family, which is something I never get to do. Lake with family on Saturday, lake with friends on Sunday = toasted me on Monday. It was a good time, though.

I got to hang out with my brother I-man all weekend, which is one of my favorite things to do (another is to hang out with my brother Grf…I randomly drew great cards in the sibling department).  Anyway, a few weeks ago he rescued this adorable kitty that had been abandoned in the road and brought it home. And in the exact same track of naming logic I would have taken, Ira named the cat Jonesy, after both the orange cat in Alien and the main character from Dreamcatcher.  Jonesy is just a little amber puffball of energy, and we spent the weekend playing with him and trying to keep Max from making him into a meal.

On Saturday night Ira and I went to rent a movie, but the local video shoppe was closed, so we ended up rooting around in some old boxes full of tapes until we found one to watch. We ended up discovering the hope diamond of “videos we watched over and over as kids.” It is a worn-out and battered VHS tape with a peeling label on the side that says “Legend of Sleepy Hollow/Back to the Future/Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.” We must have watched this tape a hundred times as kids. We popped it in the VCR and sat there eating popcorn and regressing 16 years or so. It was a great evening. Mom even came in and watched it with us, marveling that the tape still worked. 
(Note: my favorite parts of LOSH are the short fat girl who won’t leave Brom alone at the dance, and the fact that Katrina Van Tassel is described as being “Plump as a partridge.” I'm also a big fan of the "Trick or Treat" Donald Duck cartoon before the actual movie.)

Lots of other stuff happened over the weekend as well, but getting to chill with my siblings always ranks very high on the “fun stuff to do-o-meter.”

Quote OTD:  From the song The Headless Horseman, sung by Brom Bones (aka Bing Crosby):
When the spooks have a midnight Jamboree
They break it up with fiendish glee
Ghosts are bad, but the one that's cursed
It's the Headless Horseman, he's the worst