I'm such a redneck.
Just now I was outside and there was a huge bumblebee-looking bug trying to bore a hole into my house. Did I call an exterminator? Did I try to identify said bug and find a bio-conscious way to rid my home of the pest?
Nope- I got out my raquetball raquet and delivered a swift backhand to the destructive insect. As I smashed into it I screamed, "Offa my house, BITCH!"
The bee hurtled backwards through the air at an amazing rate of speed, and the strings of the raquet emitted a satisfying "Twang!" And I laughed with glee; I felt like a damn gladiator.
Maybe if I have a few PBRs I'll upgrade to the potato gun.
Kinda red, but not all the way. A true redneck pours gas in the hole and lights it. I have a friend that did this. Duh.
Posted by: TomC | May 24, 2006 at 08:13 PM
If the carpenter bees get started on your home like they do on ours, you will be getting a lot of practice on your swing. Good luck. The exterminator told us we could spray them, but the next one would just find another place to bore into the house. So, we get them 1 or 2 at a time.
Posted by: so | May 25, 2006 at 11:49 AM
Ahhh, the satisfaction. I wonder if the racquet works on rattlesnakes?
Posted by: Marie | May 25, 2006 at 01:27 PM
Marie, if you want to try it on rattlesnakes I'm bringing my video camera. Esp. timber rattlers- they're sassy.
Posted by: gnumoon | May 25, 2006 at 02:39 PM
Carpenter bees are hard to get rid of. Don't try what I did: if you plug up their entry holes they will just bore another one to get out.
Posted by: kenju | May 25, 2006 at 11:18 PM