taking a big civic doodie

Things that pregnancy gets you:
A seat in a crowded room
A nice person to hold the door at a store when your arms are loaded down with packages
Leniency with the boss when you just *can't* seem to get to work on time
To the front of the line in buffet situations

Things that pregnancy does NOT get you:
Out of jury duty

That's right. This week I'm doing my civic duty, and it is not anything like Law & Order led me to believe. doink doink, indeed.
I tried my damndest to get out of being selected, but despite wearing my pregnantest looking shirt and squirming around uncomfortably in my chair throughout the selection process, the lawyers seem to think I'm a wonderful addition to their panel of 12.
And what is this case, you might ask? Murder most foul and despicable? Crimes of passion? Sadly, no. Although I'm not at liberty to discuss any details, lets just say it involves a tractor, a dumptruck, and reinforces every negative stereotype you have ever heard about the Appalachia region.
It's the case of  Methuselah vs. Greasy McGhee, and it is my job as a North Carolinian be front and center for it. My goal for tomorrow is not to nod off during opening arguments from either set of late-nite TV smarmy douchebag lawyers.

In a much more interesting story, a friend of mine was telling me today that his father had to serve on a jury where the plaintiff was a man who was suing his doctor for malpractice. Pretty routine-sounding case, right? Not exactly...the plaintiff had evidently suffered from gangrene and had to undergo an emergency amputation after a botched penis enlargement surgery. Apparently there were many visual aids that accompanied the testimony.
Penile gangrene...and yet I end up with tractor collisions.

ps- I went to an Anoushka Shankar (daughter of Ravi) this evening. What I got from it: 1. I didn't know what half those instruments on the stage were. 2. She is much prettier than her father, and 3. I bet her butt is still numb from sitting on the floor all night. Can one not pluck the sitar effectively while perched in a big comfy chair?

Comments

[Tomc]

You should have jury duty at the new court house in Charlotte. Can you say Country Club? Did they blow enough money on this building?

You are stronger than I if you can sit through an evening of sitar music. I love the Beatles, but those sitar tunes are on permananet SKIP.

[Melissa]

You got the better case as a karmic reward for sitting through the concert.

[Joan]

I'm deaf in one ear and that does get you out of jury duty. Many people think pregnancy makes you a better person. It made me feel old.